Complete and utter foolishness

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My Mom gave me the gift of THE GREEN SLIME (1968) this Christmas… and I was a child again. 

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You don’t need to have seen the movie to get where I’m coming from, I don’t think.

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If the charms of this Kinji Fukasaku/Toei joint were not self-evident, I would have lost you at GREEN SLIME. I mean, look at that clutch!

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This movie is like the Major Matt Mason Space Station play set come magically to life! (A lot of 50-year-old guys are mentally high-fiving me right now.)

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I haven’t seen GRAVITY (2013) yet but I’m guessing Alfonso Cuarón didn’t have the vision to repurpose his Dad’s clock-radio for deep space instrumentation.

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Do kids today try to perfect their G-force face? No? Well, that’s too bad. I suffered a lot of uncertainty as a boy but I always knew how I’d look on reentry.

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Boogers have always been frightening but THE GREEN SLIME really kicks the phenomenon up a notch.

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I suppose somewhere out there some guy is sitting down to the same gift for the “So bad it’s good” factor.

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I hope I never meet that guy.

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When I watch THE GREEN SLIME, I enjoy it on the same level that I did when I was a kid. I recoil when the alien entity reveals its intelligence (so ugly! so smart!) and react with dread when the protagonists wander into harm’s way.

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I want to be afraid. I want to be thrilled. I want to yell at the screen “Look out!” and “Run!” and “Fire! Fire all weapons!”

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I want to feel these emotions primarily.

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I want to be a fool. A complete and utter fool.

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Like a newborn baby in his mother’s arms. Unable to reason. Unable to speak. Unable to discern. Able only to witness and react, with honesty and feeling.

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Merry Christmas, GREEN SLIME. Merry Christmas, Mom.

THE GREEN SLIME is available from the Warner Archive Collection.

20 Responses Complete and utter foolishness
Posted By Bob Gutowski : December 27, 2013 3:36 pm

I see that the monsters of THE GREEN SLIME are suffering from “Hammer Overlit Syndrome.” However, I applaud your desire to willingly suspend your…whatever, and to submerge yourself in SLIME.

Posted By Dennis Cozzalio : December 27, 2013 4:25 pm

This post made me unreasonably happy. To the DVD machine I go TONIGHT!!!!

Posted By jeanette minor : December 27, 2013 5:16 pm

It was years later that I saw this on tv. What II mainly remember was the issue of Famous Monsters where this made the cover. And inside where Unca Forry tried, vainly to make it seem like this was the geatest sf film since Forbidden Planet.

Posted By robbushblog : December 27, 2013 6:56 pm

It looks stupendous! I must see it!

Posted By george : December 27, 2013 9:18 pm

jeanette: The Famous Monsters cover made this a must-see for me at age 9. My long-suffering father gave in to my begging and took me to see it. It was scary and exciting to me … but again, I was 9. Saw it years later on TV and thought it was awful. It would probably be nostalgic fun now.

Posted By Qalice : December 27, 2013 9:59 pm

I’ve seen this movie (thanks, TCM!) and I don’t understand your love for it at all. But I’m glad it makes you happy!

Posted By Bhob : December 27, 2013 11:57 pm

Has anyone else noticed that it’s practically a remake of “Mutiny in Outer Space”?

Posted By Susan Doll : December 28, 2013 9:30 pm

Am I seeing this correctly? Do the aliens have one big eye in their mouths, and then several sub-eyes below that? They kind of look like blackberries with eyes.

Posted By george : December 28, 2013 10:32 pm

http://www.coverbrowser.com/covers/famous-monsters-of-filmland/2

You can see that Famous Monsters GREEN SLIME cover here.

Posted By Jawolken : December 29, 2013 6:52 pm

Oh, I LOVED this movie when it came out (I was 10). I was a girl sci-fi geek already at that age, so this was just perfect….I remembered it fondly for many years afterward. I think I knew even then it was pretty cheesy, but it was great fun anyway.

I finally saw it again a couple of years ago, and really enjoyed it again…this time, of course, for the total kitsch experience as well as the memories of it from my youth.

Definitely worth the viewing. If you haven’t seen it, be prepared to laugh out loud at the special effects and a bunch of the acting….but it’s still a fun ride, nonetheless.

Posted By Heidi : December 30, 2013 4:10 pm

This looks like it is right up my alley. Susan Doll, I will never look at blackberries the same again!

Posted By Dennis Cozzalio : December 30, 2013 10:39 pm

I finally got a chance to watch the DVD again last night, Richard. This may be my favorite thing you’ve published all year– and that’s saying a lot– for the way it so perfectly captured the way I wanted to see THE GREEN SLIME, and the way I did, 47 years I first thrilled to it. In many ways, some of which are visible above, this is a gorgeous movie, and sublimely silly too. I’m just glad that I was still able to see that and not feel the need to snark myself into a stupor over it.

Posted By george : December 31, 2013 3:57 am

I still prefer KING KONG ESCAPES and DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!

Posted By Keith : January 2, 2014 7:18 pm

This is one of my favorites. It has a Great 60′s theme song, aliens that come from green slime – they multiply like rabbits and their means of offense & defence are arms that electrocute you with high voltage electricity!!

Posted By swac44 : January 6, 2014 6:48 pm

This was an annual staple on the local TV movie matinee shows, I’m sure I watched it a few times over the years, cut for time and commercials. Didn’t matter, loved its cheesy goodness way back when, although when I saw it at 13 I’m sure I had a much different (and possibly chemically enhanced) reaction than when I saw it at 10. I kinda wish I could see it the same way, with the host calling random viewers to see if they spotted the secret word flashed on the screen (on “The Great Money Movie”) and ads for local car dealerships and convenience stores (I still have the long-gone Green Gables stores’ jingle committed to memory).

Posted By Blakeney : January 7, 2014 12:15 am

Thank you for a wonderful review – I have never heard of this movie before, but I must see it now. There is nothing like a good retro cheesy movie!

Posted By Ben Martin : January 17, 2014 7:25 pm

When we saw this at the matinee as kids it was PERFECT. For us prepubescents, even the amazing Luciana Pallucci was a major success factor.
I THINK there are two versions of this film floating around – one that deals less with the strained love triangle and the other that plays it up. I was always pulling for Richard Jaeckel’s Vince Elliott than for stuffy Robert Horton’s Jack Rankin.
And when the doctor gets it – yowza.
Hooray for The Green Slime.

Posted By robbushblog : January 17, 2014 7:58 pm

My mom would consider a choice between Richard Jaeckel and Robert Horton a win/win.

Posted By The Green Slime | Trailers From Hell : March 20, 2014 8:41 pm

[…] See also Richard Harland Smith’s “Complete and Utter Foolishness“ […]

Posted By Blakeney : March 22, 2014 2:25 pm

Green Slime alert!

I’ve been wanting to see this ever since your review – so happy it’s going to be on TCM early this Sunday morning (3/23/14 – or very, very late Saturday night according to the TCM schedule) at 3:45am. My DVR is already set – can’t wait!

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