Marriage: Hollywood Style

Posted by Susan Doll on June 25, 2012

In a recent lecture, I mentioned the marriage of Gloria Swanson to Wallace Beery. The couple had met while working at the Essanay Manufacturing Company in Chicago during the mid-1910s when Swanson was 15 and Beery almost 30. Apparently Beery couldn’t stay away from Swanson, or the other underage girls on the set, which was one of the reasons he ended up working at Essanay’s West Coast studio. When she was barely 17, Swanson moved to Los Angeles to try her fortune in more substantial roles. Beery began courting the young actress, and the two were married in 1916. According to Swanson in her autobiography, Beery forced himself on her on their wedding night. The marriage was over before it had begun, though the couple did not divorce till 1919. Swanson would marry five more times, and her cynicism regarding marriage is evident in her quip: “I’ve given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can’t divorce a book.”

MR. AND MRS. MICKEY ROONEY (AKA AVA GARDNER)

Swanson’s cynical comment echoes those of other Hollywood stars, who are notorious for marrying often and unwisely. Her experiences reflect many of the pitfalls of celebrity marriage–intense on-set relationships that are mistaken for mature love; underage, emotionally immature starlets who are treated like adults; celebrities who relish their lives of privilege; etc. Her story prompted me to look for other comments about romance and marriage from notable Hollywood stars. Most of the remarks, quips, and jokes are funny on the surface, but many reveal a dark view of romance and a bitter opinion of the institution of marriage.

Marriage and relationships are primary fodder for comics; thus, many of their remarks are likely jokes from routines, films, or television appearances. Groucho Marx once noted, “Behind every successful man is a woman; behind her is his wife,” which perhaps explains why he was married three times. More telling is Richard Pryor’s joke,”Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings. . . and lawyers,” and he should know because he was married seven times. He married two of his wives twice.

Comments by actors (as opposed to comics) are less like jokes and more like confessions, even if their remarks are funny. Some stars were so famous for marrying multiple times that it became part of their star image, including Mickey Rooney and Lana Turner. Rooney has advised, “Always get married in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day,” and confessed, “I’m the only man in the world whose marriage license reads ‘To Whom It May Concern.’” Turner lamented, “I planned on having one husband and seven children, but it turned out the other way around,” and then married one more time.

STAN AND VERA AT ONE OF THEIR MANY MARRIAGE CEREMONIES.

Sources conflict on how many times Stan Laurel was married, and for good reason. Laurel may or may not have been married to an early vaudeville partner, Mae Charlotte Dahlberg, who agreed to claim that they had never been married as part of a legal settlement. In 1926, he married Lois Neilson; in 1934, he wed Virginia Rogers. Very shortly after his divorce from Rogers, he eloped to Yuma, Arizona, with Vera Ivanova Shuvalova, whom he had met five weeks earlier. Rogers did not believe they were divorced and tried to stop the wedding. She continued to make trouble for them until Laurel sued her for stalking him. After all parties were assured that the divorce was final, he and Shuvalova went through another marriage ceremony in Yuma. Vera was planning a third ceremony–a traditional Russian Orthodox wedding–when she was arrested for driving without a license after hitting several parked cars. Not long after, Laurel was arrested for drunk driving, which he blamed on Vera, claiming that she had threatened him with a skillet full of potatoes, tried to hit him with a telephone, and threw sand in his eyes. Domestic troubles continually plagued their marriage, which came out in lurid detail during divorce proceedings in 1939. Following one heated argument, at least according to Shuvalova’s testimony, Laurel dug a grave in their back yard and then called for her to step outside. The divorce was finalized, and two years later, Laurel remarried Virginia Rogers, which turned out to be “another fine mess.” Laurel and Rogers were re-divorced in 1946. Laurel was brave enough to marry one more time–to Ida Kitaeva Raphael, the widow of a concertina virtuoso reportedly named Raphael Raphael Raphael. When a reporter asked Laurel if he had any bad habits, he allegedly said, “Yes, and I married them.”

Bitter or cynical comments seem to be evenly divided among male and female stars. Mae West purred, “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution,” while Eva Gabor had the opposite opinion, “Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once.” Burt Reynolds wisely noted,” When an actor marries an actress, they both fight for the mirror.” Considering he married actresses Judy Carne and Loni Anderson and had a long-term relationship with Sally Field, he probably knew what he was talking about. George Clooney revealed his commitment-phobia with “I think prenups are very important. I have one and I ‘m not married! I have one with anyone I go to dinner with.” Generally tight-lipped Clint Eastwood once let slip, “They say marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.”

RICHARD HARRIS AND ANN TURKEL: “LIKE A POISONOUS FUNGUS ON A TREE .”

The most surprising comment that I found on marriage was not very funny. Richard Harris, who was married only twice–which pales in comparison to Mickey Rooney or Stan Laurel–offered this caustic opinion: “Marriage is a custom brought about by women who then proceed to live off men and destroy them, completely enveloping the man in a destructive cocoon or eating him away like a poisonous fungus on a tree.” Though offered years before Harris’s tirade, Katharine Hepburn’s well-known warning regarding marriage seems an appropriate response to the actor’s remark: “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”

Not wanting to end on a sour note, I’ll conclude with Will Rogers’s witty but sweet confession: “I’m not a real movie star. I’ve got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago.”

Armchair Reader Goes Hollywood. West Side Publications (Publications International), LIncolnwood, Illinois, 2010.

Louvish, Simon. Stan and Ollie: The Roots of Comedy. St. Martin’s Griffin, 2005.

Swanson, Gloria. Swanson on Swanson, Random House, 1980.

Robertson, Patrick. The Guinness Book of Movies: Facts and Feats. Abbeville Press, 1993.

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20 Responses Marriage: Hollywood Style

Posted By swac44 : June 25, 2012 5:34 pm

Apropos of nothing: according to family legend, my grandfather was Gloria Swanson’s osteopath in Chicago, before she headed west. Sadly, I have no proof of this, but it makes for a fun family myth. Now I wonder if he knew Beery too?

Posted By Martha Clark : June 25, 2012 7:13 pm

Great family storyswac44! :)

Enjoyed this post so much, Susan Doll! Fan of most of the mentioned stars.

Beery and Swanson’s marriage…poor Gloria…I always wondered what the story really was…shotgun marriage? Was she using him to gain fame? Yuck…tough way to the top!

Thanks again!

Posted By JackFavell : June 25, 2012 7:27 pm

On a more pleasant note, Swanson and Raoul Walsh had a very loving relationship throughout their long lives. There are some profoundly beautiful letters still available to read in various biographies and autobiographies of the two. They managed a very romantic long term relationship. They were married, just not to each other.

Posted By Jenni : June 25, 2012 10:21 pm

Love Will Rogers ending comment. How about a flip-side article on successful Hollywood marriages?

Posted By Margaret Perry Movies : June 25, 2012 11:37 pm

I love when Katharine Hepburn wonders if men and women really suit each other, or if they should settle to living next door and just visit often! Sounds good to me. She and Spencer Tracy clearly had an arrangement that suited them!

Posted By dukeroberts : June 26, 2012 1:23 am

I never understood how Mickey Rooney was able to land Ava Gardner. I never will understand that actually. How many times has he been married? Is it eight?

Posted By Juana Maria : June 26, 2012 9:59 am

Jenni: I like your suggestion of happy successful Hollywood marriages! I think of James Garner, Tom Hanks,and Kevin Bacon. They have been married to the same wife for what must seem like forever by Hollywood standands!
Along the lines of this article, I think of Ernest Borgnine and his marriages,especially Ethel Merman and Katy Jurado. His marriage to Ethel Merman was so bad that she leaves the page blank in her bio. I think Ernest Borgnine and Katy Jurado might have had a better marriage together,because atleast he’ll talk about her. In his interview on TCM,he referred to Jurado as “a tiger from Guadalajara”. She must have had some temper! Likely,I sure could see it in some of her films. I though Ernie and Katy were good together,well on screen anyway. “The Badlanders” is the only film I ever saw the two of them together in.
Duke Roberts:I don’t how Mickey Rooney got up with Ava Gardner. Have you ever thought that just maybe women go for men who are funny and sweet and goofy. I do,they’re my favorite people,those guys that make you laugh. I’m not saying I would have married Mickey Rooney if I were Ava Gardner,though personally I wouldn’t have married Frank Sinata either. I always liked Dean Martin better!

Posted By Susan Doll : June 26, 2012 12:42 pm

swac44: That is an interesting family legend. It’s fun to have a connection to a star or historical figure from another era. I had a lot of fun tracking down where Swanson and her cohorts at Essanay lived in Chicago, because it was all so close to my neighborhood.

Posted By Susan Doll : June 26, 2012 12:44 pm

dukeroberts: I just watched a doc that had a section on Mickey Rooney. He was so dynamic and multi-talented as a young man, plus he exuded confidence and energy. I think that was the attraction. I am actually a big Rooney fan.

Posted By Susan Doll : June 26, 2012 12:46 pm

Thanks to all my readers for their kind comments. I actually posted this while I was on vacation in Florida on an unfamiliar computer during a tropical storm, cursing each misstep as I tried to post. But your comments make it worthwhile.

Posted By swac44 : June 26, 2012 1:06 pm

I’m still learning about my grandfather’s sojourn in Chicago, and I see the Essanay Studio was located in the north part of town, which is also where my grandfather William Cooke lived and operated (he also reportedly had ties to the Irish mob, I was told he was an acquaintance of Hymie Weiss and Bugs Moran, who ran the north side of Chicago). It doesn’t prove anything, but lends the story a bit of added credence. Funnily enough, he left Chicago for Montreal around the same time Hymie Weiss–also the inspiration for James Cagney’s character in The Public Enemy–was gunned down on North State Street (and the Irish mob’s favourite Prohibition getaway was Montreal, while Capone and his chums went to Florida and Cuba).

But back on the topic of Hollywood marriages, my favourite will probably always be Bogie and Bacall. I like to imagine that they just had the best time together before his untimely death.

Posted By DBenson : June 26, 2012 1:59 pm

There’s a Stan Laurel anedote — think it’s in one of John McCabe’s books — where a 1950s magazine printed a complete rundown of Laurel’s marriages. Stan scanned it and said something to the effect of “This would make a great Charlie Chan movie.”

Also think of a gag from a variety show appearance by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. Dale says the secret of a long marriage is communication. Roy nods. “She tells me what to do and I do it.”

Posted By dukeroberts : June 26, 2012 2:40 pm

Suzi- You mean you were down here and didn’t stop in to say “Howdy”? Where were you?

Posted By Jenni : June 27, 2012 10:07 am

Juana, yes there were many Hollywood marriages that stood until “Death do us part”. Joel McCrea and Francis Dee, Bob and Dolores Hope, Bing Crosby had two successful marriages-the first one ended when his wife died, and then he had a second marriage that lasted until his passing, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall-both mentioned in previous comments, Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft-I imagine Mel’s humor is what hooked Anne.

Posted By Heidi : June 27, 2012 12:25 pm

SuziDall, were you down here for our little rain event? What coast were you on?

Bogy and Bacall are my favorite Hollywood marriage, and I agree with the post that spoke to Rooney and his character. He was a fire cracker!
I must say, though that Yul Brynner and his marriages and non marriages, always interested me. Love him.

Posted By Emgee : June 27, 2012 4:28 pm

Before Bogey met Bacall he was in one of the worst Hollywood marriages. Het and his third(!) wife Mayo Methot were known as the “Battling Bogarts” because of their frequent drunken brawls.

How about Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward as the ideal Hollywood Marriage? A full fifty years! As he used to say”Why grab a hamburger when you get steak at home?”

Posted By dukeroberts : June 27, 2012 4:50 pm

Charlton Heston and his wife Lydia were married for 64 years. Ronald and Nancy Reagan were married for 52 years. Kirk Douglas and his wife Anne have been married for 58 years. Tony Martin and Cyd Charisse were married for 60 years. There have been some long lasting marriages in Hollywood. The bad ones just make these all the more unique.

Posted By dukeroberts : June 27, 2012 4:54 pm

Also, Lloyd and Dorothy Bridges were married for 65 years.

Posted By Juana Maria : June 27, 2012 10:01 pm

Thankyou everyone for posting about the great and long lasting Hollywood couples! I just loved to see Paul Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward together in films or in interviews! The love they felt for each other was so beautiful. As for Heidi and her remarks about Yul Brynner,she has a bit of competition there for Yul from someone called lisa W. She has left posts in the past about Yul Brynner and how she loves to watch him in “The Ten Commandments”. Don’t we all? My twin sister and I would take Yul’s dialogue from “The Ten Commandments” and “The King and I” and combine them into dramitic statements:”So let it be written,so let it be done,etc.,etc.,etc.”

Posted By Lisa W. : July 5, 2012 11:22 pm

Late to the party! Marriage must have been especially difficult in a bygone era when women probably had roles expected of them that a successful actress didn’t necessarily want or have to fulfill. Not every woman longs to be a wife and to be such to a successful actor who works long hours with many people who’d like a piece of them in some way shape or form, well, it’s got to be tough if you either party doesn’t have their priorities straight. I like to think that those that marry so many times are simply romantic. Each time they think they’ve finally found the right person. Sometimes twice!

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