Cinematically speaking, who are you? (a response)

Posted by highhurdler on April 3, 2012

After reading fellow Morlock Greg’s article last month I’m William Holden. Who are you? I was about to “Leave a Reply” – especially since I had the chance to be the first to post one – when I stopped myself and started giving it some real thought. In truth, I struggled with my answer, realized that my response would be lengthy and, since I knew I’d be filling in for R. Emmet Sweeney soon, saved it for today.

It’s a fascinating question. As people judging others, we love labels. As individuals being judged, we hate labels. So I’m apt not to choose, certainly not voluntarily, to reveal who I believe I am vs. what you think I am. When a man has lived over 5 decades, particularly if he is (or was) “Married with Children”, he has played (or is playing) many roles throughout his life – son, brother, boy, cowboy, warrior, friend, lover, husband, father, king, and even sage – during his masculine journey (to borrow from John Eldredge). So throughout my life, I have been (or still am) many different people.

As I watch and review (particularly classic) films, it is rare for me to really connect with the characters in the story. My life is so mundane compared to theirs. I’m not as handsome, my spouse isn’t as beautiful, we don’t do (nor have we ever done) so many daring things – especially in such a compact timeframe as an hour and a half. I can’t articulate and speak my thoughts as well, nor have I been to such exotic locales or venues. However, on rare occasions, the hair on the back of neck is piqued, goose pimples rise on my forearm or thighs and/or tears well up in my eyes when what is happening on the screen conveys a truth about my life, or current life situation.

It happens unexpectedly, without warning, and even while watching an obscure or forgotten ‘classic’ on TCM during the day. Suddenly, in the midst of a B musical, second-tier romantic comedy or more likely a lesser known drama featuring a fading star (or starlet), there is a scene which “rocks my world” or touches me to the core of my being. In a flash I’m transformed from casually watching to fully engaged, my emotions at the surface. I may even press the pause button to stop the movie in an attempt to stay in the moment, or have a good cry … but then it’s passed. Again, these occurrences are rare and “sneak up on me”, and so they are cherished if not always remembered. I’ve never made a list of them, and perhaps I should have (or should start). I know that I probably rated the film higher than most other people would for the truth I found in it (which may have been buried within 90 minutes of piffle).

So what does this have to do with Greg’s question “Who am I?” Well, there are times when I identify with a particular situation, perhaps more than the specific actor. So much of what happens on the screen is unreal to me, especially given the time in which the story is set (before I was even born!), and because (e.g.) I’ve never been a soldier in a war, can’t sing or dance, and rarely have exactly the right words to say in the heat of the moment … nor am I able to smoothly react to any unexpected situation thrust upon me. So, Cary Grant I’m not. But there are times when I wish I was. Even Cary Grant (born Archibald Leach) is reported to have said that he wished he was Cary Grant! Five and a half years ago, when I posted my very first (sample) entry to this MovieMorlocks blog, I listed Grant as one of my favorite actors. He still is (as is William Holden, who knew?). So it really wasn’t a surprise to me when, after compiling a few of my most memorable actor-“wannabe”-moments (below), that the scenes which came to mind first featured my favorite actors:

When ex-Marshal Will Kane makes the decision to delay or even forgo his pending honeymoon (with Grace Kelly, no less!) to turn back, return to Hadleyville and face Frank Miller and his gang of outlaws, to protect the townsfolk (who turn their back on him), I wish I was as brave as Gary Cooper.

When Barton Keyes slowly and meticulously figures out (in a style that Peter Falk must have adopted years later when he played Columbo on television) that Walter Neff and Phyllis Dietrichson were having an affair and must have killed her husband, I wish I was as smart and persistent as Edward G. Robinson.

When Rick decides that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans and convinces Ilsa to get on that plane with Victor, I wish I was as selflessly noble as Humphrey Bogart.

When the ugly Beast gets the beautiful Belle to see past his horrid outward appearance and fall in love with the real and tender heart that she awakens in him, in spite of himself, I wish I were Robby Benson? Well, O.K., probably not.

But there are films with which I have an even deeper connection, because I saw them at a moment in my life in which I could relate personally to a situation up on that screen. Chariots of Fire (1981) is one. Ordinary People (1980) is another: in my youth, when I first saw it, I identified with Timothy Hutton’s character, who so yearned for his parents’ (particularly his mother’s) attention in the shadow of his brother’s larger-than-life persona that he attempted suicide. Though I never got to that point, I could relate to the feeling if only some of the situation. Ironically, later in life, I’ve identified with Donald Sutherland’s character: a father striving desperately to help his disenchanted youngest child even though he is woefully unprepared for it. He means well and his heart is in the right place, but he’s also rather clueless about what’s really going on in his family. He stresses about it (jogging, his ‘escape’), suffering many a sleepless night until ultimately he is enlightened about the reality of his situation.

Kind of a long winded response, I know, but I hope you can relate;-)

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16 Responses Cinematically speaking, who are you? (a response)

Posted By Marty : April 3, 2012 9:13 am

Okay, so who am I?
(Remember this isn’t about looks!)
I’m one part Bill Holden, the deeply committed, sometimes impatient and angry, yet virtuous Bill Holden. Flip like in Sunset Boulevard or Stalag 17, resigned as in The Bridges at Toko Ri, weary as in SOB and human as in Network.
I’m one part Edward G Robinson in Double Indemnity and Key Largo.
I’m one part Kirk Douglas in The Bad and the Beautiful and Young Man With A Horn.
I’m one part Donald O’Connor in Singing In The Rain.
I’m one part Gene wilder in Young Frankenstein.
I’m one part of every male cast member in It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World.
I’m one part Danny Kaye in The Court Jester and The Inspector General.
And, I’m Fredrick March in The Best Years of Our Lives.
I’m Korgold and Steiner and Friedhofer and Waxman.

I’m a little of every great movie and artist I admire.

Posted By shadowsandsatin : April 3, 2012 9:41 am

I really enjoyed your thoughtful and well-written post! It gives me some food for thought as well.

Posted By dukeroberts : April 3, 2012 10:00 am

I’m still just a combination of Lionel Barrymore and Eddie Bracken. Sigh….

Posted By Susan Doll : April 3, 2012 12:00 pm

I loved this thoughtful and reflective response and extension of Morlock Greg’s post. Hmmmm. Now I am thinking about who I am, and if I can make an interesting post out of it.

Posted By Adam : April 3, 2012 3:09 pm

What a great post. I’ve been in a reflective mood as of late as well as I’ve just recently gotten married and bought a house, something that I’d never envisioned for myself just two years prior. Caught in this crossroads of life I’ve been in has really made me think of who I am as well. If it were the characters in the movies, I’d have to say I’m a chaotic mix of:

The frustrated neurotic male lead of many Woody Allen films.
The idealistic educator François Bégaudeau from The Class.
The acid-tongued cynic Addison DeWitt from All About Eve.
And the wide eyed music lover William Miller from Almost Famous.

Posted By Juana Maria : April 3, 2012 3:32 pm

Highhurdler: Thankyou for pouring your heart and soul out for others to read! That is very brave, Gary Cooper brave to be exact. I love “High Noon”, it is my favorite movie. Some of my other favorites are:”The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”,”Liberty Valance”,”Ride the High Country”,”The Bravados” &”The Good, the Bad,& the Ugly”. They examine human character,what lies deep down in our hearts,our very motivation for our actions. I keep a journal,which I don’t let anyone read! However,on these Movie Morlock pages I have done some pouring out of my soul too. I think it because I have finally found people who think similiarly to me. I don’t a have problem with identifying with a lot of the characters in the TCM movies or on other channels,TV shows, movies & books. Fact or fantasy-people are people, they make me laugh,cry,feel scared,get angry or even feel amourous-especially if it Tom Selleck! I’ve loved him all my life,ever since “Magnum,P.I.” was on TV back in the day.I thought of the actors and actresses I’m like pretty quickly since I know which ones sorta click with me.(snap of fingers-aha!)I stil feel I’m Dolores Del Rio, when I had hair braids,my homemade Mexican clothes and barefeet. I’m barefoot a lot! My complexion is light in the winter, but since I’m Native American/Scotch-Irish mix I tan very quickly. Being as it is that I’m racially mixed I’m a lot like Anthony Quinn,I like him too,he was handsome! He was an artist and a musician, I am too. He was multi-lingual, I am too.I’m like Katy Jurado in that I give idiots dirty looks in a heartbeat!(Again,that’s in”High Noon”!)I’m short,4’9”,so I can never truly compare to Sophia Loren who is 5’8 1/2”! I do have almond shaped eyes and a shapely figure!My sister coined a word to discribe me:”Mippie”,a Mexican Hippie,for my love of things Western, Mexican, and 1960′s Flower Child.Yes, I love sunshine,flowers,singing and dancing,playing with my cats & dogs,making up songs,I even have an acoustic guitar! I love dangling earrings,stacks of bracelets,glass beaded necklaces,that I make myself.I’ve always thought face painting is fun,but I’m not sure if that is because I’m Native American or a Hippie. Hmmm? There is a lot of confusing between those two groups, for some people. Let me know your thoughts too,please,I really appreciate them. Thanks everybody out there!Peace & love & Adios!!

Posted By Juana Maria : April 3, 2012 4:01 pm

I can get a bit wordy sometimes,sorry. I’m usually so quiet I feel invisible around others. They say I sneek up on them, I feel it is an “Indian” thing, like in “Outlaw Josey Wales” the Indians can sneak up on people,I really like Lone Watie in that movie. Sometimes I feel I am like Little Moonlight in that film, and people around me must thinking, why won’t she just shut up! Clint puts his feelings about all her talking in a rather blunt way, but I don’t remember his exact words. Sometimes I feel connected to my surroundings so strongly I feel like Pocahontas, which I’m sometimes called to my annoyance. I feel like Jennifer Jones in “Duel in the Sun”,not just because I think Gregory Peck is gorgeous,but do to the fact I get teased for being an “injun”, with names like Minnie HA HA!,Pokie-haunt-us,well,”little Injun girl” is the worst! Our people aren’t even from India,but Injun? When I first heard that term I thought people were referring to engines. Ahh!!Ignorance! I often feel connected to certain actors,such as Anthony Quinn,Graham Greene,Wes Studi,& Tantoo Cardinale, who has been a favorite of mine for many years. Sometimes though, I would love to be a proper Victorian lady,like the ones on Sherlock Holmes,or any of the lovely ladies in “Tombstone”. If not I would settle for hanging out with the Cowboys! Love that Curly Bill Brocius,I have always favored the Clantons and their guys to the Earps anyway. No matter what version of the story, though it tough not to side with handsome Kurt Russell. Must be that dark side of my nature,I;m like Lee Van Cleef when I laugh. I’m like Mario Lopez when I smile-I have wonderful facial dimples. My eyes are almond shaped-so people often think I’m “Oriental”, which has given me a special affinity with them. They respond to me differently than say someone tall and blond. I wouldn’t trade the affection and frienship of others regardlessly of color, size or nationality.I don’t what actor that makes me like. Any suggestions, I like to hear your opinions after spouting off like this for so long.

Posted By panavia999 : April 3, 2012 4:10 pm

On the “I am William Holden” post, I said I wanted to be like Alida Valli, but was more like Marie Dressler.

Posted By Greg Ferrara : April 3, 2012 6:03 pm

I thought to myself, “I should reply to this post with a post of my own,” but thought better of it. Thanks for this in-depth reply, it’s exactly the type of examination I was hoping for.

Posted By Juana Maria : April 3, 2012 9:31 pm

Geg Ferrara: It’s this a great post! I read every word,I don’t always do that before jumping in with random comments. I usually give your posts and Susan Doll’s careful consideration. Not always so thorough with Morlock Jeff’s or Medusa’s, maybe it’s the Morlock part of their names..The Morlocks in “The Time Machine” were so scary. Monsters have always bothered me. I’m still a scared little kid inside at times. More like a kid in “Little Monsters” instead of “Nightmare on Elm Street”,for me it was more of the nightmare of being trapped in the Monster World. As I got older,boogeymen got replaced with gunslingers & bandits thankfully. I mean Lee Marvin as Liberty Valance or Jack Palance as Jack Wilson in the movie “Shane”,Lee Van Cleef as Sgt.”Angel Eyes” Setenza in “The Good,the Bad,& the Ugly”,well, they’re very much like boogeymen too. Yet,I find myself attracted to them! I get thinking oh no! it’s happened I am turning into my worst fears! I’m harboring deep seated feelings of badness…What! I’m not lke that! Well, I guess with the fantasty of film and books,we can escape who we really are or “have to” be for society or our family and just cut loose,live out our inner feelings, no regrets,no real consequences-no,because it make-believe. That is what makes it perfect! We can sympathize with the characters on the screen or not,let me explain:I will cry with every viewing of “Sarah Plain & Tall”,I cry through “Fried Green Tomatoes”too,but on the hand,when the Mexican bandits are chopping up Dobbsy in “Treasure of the Madre”,I couldn’t have been happier! I felt more for the “villians” in that movie and “The Bravados”,what’s wrong with me!Any advice? Ps.TO:Panavia999:Go on say you’re Alida Valli! If you are a beautiful person inside it is far more important than all the beauty in the world on the outside with an ugly personality. Believe me! I know many a “beautiful person” I rather not be around, and someone with more humble looks and a humble personallity that I always find a pleasure to be around. So cheer up! In films such as “Freaks” I always identified with the freaks, because I’ve been picked on a lot. I thought the so-called freaks were terrific and the so-called “normal” people were jerks!! Besides it’s not called “the Good, the Bad & the Beautiful”,is it? NO! We have to have some ugly don’t we? Eli Wallach isn’t really ugly,he is quite charming in “Baby Doll” and “the Magnificent Seven”. I like him instantly. Maybe I’m part Carrol Baker?(cinematically speaking)Oh, I hope not! That would I go off with Chuck Heston instead of gorgeous Gregory Peck in “The Big Country”. Personally, I more of Jean Simmons in that film,I’m teacher,I’m short with dark looks,have a foreign name,and am some what torn between choosing Peck or Connors in that movie. Nah! I’d choose Chuck Conners,because He looked great with that mustache! Remember,I’ve got a thing about villians!Ha ha..Thanks for letting me go on and on..Bye!

Posted By dukeroberts : April 3, 2012 11:49 pm

What happened to Greg’s “Biopic” post? It just disappeared.

Posted By jennifromrollamo : April 4, 2012 8:20 am

Great post highhurdler. It is nice to see you back on here at The Morlocks. I too, wish I was as smart as Edward G. in Double Indemnity.

Posted By Charley Blake : April 4, 2012 9:07 am

I have the heart and soul of Popeye the Sailor, with the motor skills of Elmer Fudd.

Posted By MDR : April 4, 2012 9:26 am

Thanks again Greg for such a thought provoking question, and to all who participated by giving it some thought and sharing yours here (or as a response to the original post).

It’s great to see some new names (to me; I’m not here as much as I used to be;-) and read your comments, but especially to hear from those who are still around from when this blog began (Jenni!).

Posted By Juana Maria : April 7, 2012 5:12 pm

Are cartoon description acceptable? I thought we would be comparing ourselves to real live people. Oh well, my mom used to call me Olive Oil because I was skinny and would wear my hair in a bun. Now, I all grown up,wear red lipstick and have shorter hair, she says I look like Betty Boop.This has raised eyebrows with certain guys, only to greatly embarass me! When I was younger and my hair was very long,I was wearing down one day when I went shopping in Target. A little girl says to her mom:”Look that girl looks just like Pocahantas!” It’s cause I’m Native American,which I’m proud of. I have great dark hair.So there.Go ahead havea hair jealousy.

Posted By Brandon Michael : June 28, 2012 5:03 pm

I am one part Lucas Jackson from Cool Hand Luke, finding that a smile in the face of authority is the biggest “f” you
I am one part William Muny from the Unforgiven, trying to forget my past, but always brought back to it when the s**t goes down
I am one part Peter Venkman, wisecracking and sober in a world of lunatics
I am one part Septon from Stalag 17, not accepting of the status quo and willing to be my own man in a prison of Sargents

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