Do you ever despair of seeing anything charming and spontaneous on the web anymore?  Do you sometimes wonder, after seeing some so-so movie at the theater, what it was about the movies that you loved in the first place?  Do you ever wonder if anybody else loves movies like you do?  If you answered “Yes!” to any of these questions, I’ve got just the tonic for you.   I’ve fallen in love with a wonderful new-ish web series — “Tired Old Queen at the Movies” — and I think you will, too.  Steve Hayes is the self-styled “Tired Old Queen” who talks about his favorite movies, and you won’t find a more enthusiastic or genuine movie fan anywhere.  Lucky for us, he’s sharing.

I was so enamoured of Steve after being introduced to TOQATM that I immediately contacted him to find out more about his web franchise.  But before I tell you anymore, why don’t we watch one of his segments, this one where he talks about The Black Narcissus.  Steve’s format is simple:  his real-life pal Johnny Bixler intros Steve, we turn up at his apartment door for a warm greeting, and away we go! 

Now, wasn’t that fun?  Come on, how can you not want to run right out and watch The Black Narcissus, this very minute?  Steve talks to us like we’re old friends, and he’s best kind of movie friend:  knowledgeable, somebody who completely gets what’s specifically wonderful about a particular film, and funny.  Hilarious, really…and adorable.  I love to hear about movies from people who LOVE them, really love them, on a basic, giddy, can’t wait to watch ‘em kind of level, and Steve is one of those people. 

A few more facts about Tired Old Queen at the Movies:  Steve’s been doing them since late October 2009, he’s done 26 of them so far, approximately one a week (released on Thursdays), and there’s no end in sight, thank goodness.  Along a small crew gathered in his actual Upper West Side NYC apartment (nicknamed “Thornfield Manor”) – editor Thomas Meacham, producer Dale Edwards, director Vincent J. Cardinal, and Johnny with props and jokes — Steve picks out the movies, and they shoot TOQATM on the spot.  Editing follows — you’ll really love the great and witty use of clips — and several are done in a day.

Steve’s background?  He’s an accomplished actor in movies — Trick, The Big Gay Musical — an author and lyricist (Kiss Me Quick Before the Lava Reaches the Village), award-winning comedian and cabaret performer, a performing arts educator (Cabaret Convention at Yale, Cazenovia College), a talented musical comedy Renaissance man.  He’s also a veteran of NYC’s annual Gayfest theatre festival, and his one-man show Steve Hayes’ Hollywood Reunion was about his relationship, as a gay man, with old movies, a topic that also informs his Tired Old Queen productions.  As Steve relates: “…my dear friend and director Vincent J. Cardinal kept telling me that I should be sharing my love for old movies with a bigger audience.  He suggested we set a camera up in my apartment; shoot me talking about old movies just off the top of my head, exactly as I always do everywhere and anywhere. No fuss, no muss. Keep it simple. Then he said; “Now, what should we call it?” I said; “STEVE HAYES: Tired Old Queen at the Movies!”  I want to “pass the torch”, so to speak, to the next generation. When I first moved to New York, I learned a lot from the older gay men who loved the movies as I did and shared their views and turned me on to films I’d never experienced before. I’m forever grateful.”  

This is a great time to watch another of Steve’s wonderful episodes, this one for 1958′s Auntie Mame:

As Steve also explains, “STEVE HAYES: Tired Old Queen at the Movies” is, quite simply, a love letter to the old movies. I have been a devout movie addict since I was very young and have never wavered in my adoration and genuine awe of the classic motion pictures I grew up watching. I always say, I know this stuff like straight guys know baseball.  Some baseball fan will say to me; “I know who played in the 1941 World Series!” And my comeback is; “I know who won Best Supporting Actress in 1941 and who she got it over!” 

There are millions of folks out there who love movies, but what Steve has that’s so very special is the ability to use his comedy chops to make the movies sound like so much fun, even when they’re dramas.  Steve likes ‘em all – ”I never do anything that I don’t like. And even if it’s got its flaws, if I do it, it’s because I love it. I’m not out to tear things down or be bitchy about films. There are plenty of people who rip things apart. I talk about them because I genuinely liked and enjoyed them.”  And boy, does it show!  We’re having as good a time watching Steve tell us about his favorites as he is, and you can tell he’s just loving it. 

As you can imagine, Steve’s also a big fan of TCM and on-air host Robert Osborne, as he charmingly explains here: “When I was thirteen, I took a copy of Robert Osborne’s Pictorial History Of The Academy Awards out of my little town library and I never returned it. I couldn’t. I knew nobody in that town would love it as much as I did. I studied it night after night and it taught me so much! It also had a photo of Mary Astor in “The Great Lie” and I copied her hairdo for my senior picture…until my mother saw me and threatened me with a violent demise unless I changed it to something more suitable.”

I’m not the only person who’s fallen hard for Steve Hayes.  There are a couple of really terrific interviews with him out there, including one from Out, from January of this year, written by Dustin Fitzharris, and this one by Marc Harshbarger on his Deep Dish blog.  I guarantee you’re going to become a part of Steve’s growing fan club, and the more you know, the more you’re gonna like him. 

Let’s look at one more TOQATM, this one his latest, on The Rains Came from 1939:

If you happen to live in New York City, you should keep your eyes peeled for Steve’s frequent appearances around town.  Tonight, as a matter of fact, he’s appearing at The Duplex piano/cabaret bar discussing Bette Davis, and once you’ve seen him online you won’t want to miss it when Steve performs Tired Old Queen at the Movies live for three nights at Gayfest NYC on May 24th, 25th and 26th.

So, here’s what you need to do to keep up with Tired Old Queen at the Movies — go immediately to Steve’s YouTube channel SteveHayesTOQ and subscribe, watch the videos, love them and rate them accordingly, because I know you will.  If you’re on Facebook, be sure to become a fan of Steve here, and you can follow him on Twitter here. 

One thing I didn’t find online was a title list of TOQ episodes, so I’ll provide one here:  #1 Demetrius and the Gladiators, #2 The Lodger and Hangover Square, #3 King’s Row, #4 The Maltese Falcon and Brick, #5 Written on the Wind, #6 Vertigo, #7 Sudden Fear, #8 The Stranger, #9 With a Song In My Heart, #10 The Bishop’s Wife, #11 Desk Set, #12 The Furies, #13 Them!, #14 His Girl Friday, #15 The Greatest Show on Earth, #16 The Letter, #17 The Bad and the Beautiful, #18 A Place in the Sun, #19 Black Narcissus, #20 Victim, #21 Mildred Pierce, #22 Titanic (1953) , #23 Auntie Mame, #24 Portrait of Jennie, #25 Leave Her To Heaven, #26 The Rains Came. 

Steve promises a great array of new titles in the coming weeks, including some of his favorite Film Noir titles, more enticing British titles, some Mitchell Leisen titles and many, many more.  One thing he insists on is that the titles he covers are available on DVD so that his viewers can easily rent them, and that’s appreciated. 

My best wish for you today: that you discover Steve Hayes and Tired Old Queen at the Movies for yourself, and help spread the word!