Getting in the Last Word

Posted by Susan Doll on December 28, 2009

As my last post for the year 2009, I thought it might be fun to recount the last words of some of Hollywood’s illustrious, notorious, and even forgotten stars. And, I don’t mean their last spoken words, but the epitaphs on their gravestones. These are the thoughts, comments, and quips that they chose to be remembered by. Some seem to perfectly fit their star images, as befitting actors whose public personas were as important as their performances, while others are just plain odd. It makes me realize that all the good epitaphs are taken!

Jack Lemmon: "In"

Rodney Dangerfield: "There Goes the Neighborhood"

Stella Adler: "And Shall Not Loveliness Be Loved Forever"

Gracie Allen and George Burns: "Together Again"

Billy Wilder: "I'm a Writer But Then Nobody's Perfect"

Ed Wynn: "Dear God: Thanks"

Joan Hackett: When Hackett did not want to be disturbed on set, she hung a sign on her dressing-room door that read, "Go Away--I'm Asleep." That became her epitaph.

Frank Sinatra: "The Best Is Yet To Come"

Merv Griffin: "I Will Not Be Right Back After This Message"

Mel Blanc: "That's All Folks"

Leslie Townes Hope: "Bob"

John Barrymore: "Alas Poor Yorick"

John Wayne: “Tomorrow is the most Important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.”

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8 Responses Getting in the Last Word

Posted By hve : December 28, 2009 1:23 pm

Good stuff :) I have a little book called “R.I.P.” that contains a lot of these type of things: “Over My Dead Body” (George S Kaufman), “I Told you so, Dammit!” (HG Wells)

Thanks for the post!

Posted By FTW : December 28, 2009 2:53 pm

Wayne wanted “Feo,Fuerte y Formal” on his tombstone…

Posted By wilbur twinhorse : December 28, 2009 6:58 pm

“He Lived Long Enough to Die.” W. T. (Gabby) Hayes

Posted By mbm : December 29, 2009 7:47 am

“She Did It the Hard Way.” Bette Davis

Posted By debbe : December 29, 2009 11:43 am

loved it. brilliant. didnt w.c.fields have “I’d rather be in philadelphia”?

Posted By Al Lowe : December 30, 2009 10:15 am

Here Lies Luciano Pavarotti. The fat lady finally sang.

Here Lies Jerome Robbins. Conceived by Lena & Harry Rabinowitz.

Larry Gelbart: I’d rather be out of town with a musical.

Johnny Carson. Heeeeeeeeeeere’s Johnny.

William Wyler: God got me on the first take.

David Lean: I’ve been on much better locations.

Sacha Guitry: (with an epitath suggested by a divorced wife) Stiff for the first time.

Tony Randall: I’m not going to take this lying down.

These fictional epitaths comprise the last chapter of a very funny book full of show business stories written by Randall and Mike Mindlin. It is called “Which Reminds Me.” (I have to think that this title was used before.)

Suzi, I still disagree with you about the Hearst reference in another column but I usually don’t opt to prolong disagreements. I enjoyed contributing in a small way to the Morlocks columns and look forward to doing so in 2010.

Happy New Year!

Posted By suzidoll : December 30, 2009 8:29 pm

Happy New Year to All, and Al, I love when you comment on my posts, whether you agree, disagree, expand on my thoughts, or add a side note.

Posted By Al Lowe : January 2, 2010 10:23 am

Thanks, Suzi, for your kindness. Have a great year!

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