The Wimp List by Moira

2.) The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945):
Director Albert Lewin‘s elegantly disturbing adaptation of Oscar Wilde‘s tale of a painting that reflects all the sins of its subject (Hurd Hatfield, who never quite lived this role down) was a film that scared the bejeebers out of me when I saw it as a kid, (for years, I was convinced that portrait was in my closet when the lights were turned off!). As the eternally youthful Dorian glides through his upper crust life seemingly unaffected by the wealth of transgressions he commits, against a charming Cockney songbird, (played by a very young Angela Lansbury), the portrait painter (Lowell Gilmore) and others, he is accompanied by George Sanders at his most philosophically acid,  dropping bon mots right and left on the British class system and the vagaries of human nature. Peter Lawford, who, if half of the stories told about his own life are true, might have made an excellent Dorian Gray himself, plays the stalwart protector of innocent Donna Reed. Lawford is also the unmasker of Dorian’s corruption…and that dreadfully vivid portrait in the attic; which I’m very glad I did not see in color as a kid. This was one of the first movies I’ve ever seen that made me aware of the power of production design and contrast in black and white cinematography, for which the movie won a well deserved Oscar for Harry Stradling, Sr.

3.) The Uninvited (1944):
A lonely English house calls to a pair of siblings on holiday. The pleasing facade of this movie  opens up to reveal a house in need of some love, damp rooms that cause occupants to become depressed, waves crashing to shore, a troubled young woman played with great feeling by the touching Gail Russell, and atmosphere created with a minimum of special effects, unless you count the skill and charm of actors such as Ray Milland, Ruth Hussey, Donald Crisp and Alan Napier as special fx, (I do, particularly since they don’t exist anymore). As the ambiguous figure who loved Gail Russell‘s mother too well, Cornelia Otis Skinner is far scarier as Miss Holloway than any of the ectoplasmic apparitions in this movie. One of the best of ghost stories on film, blending elegance with a romantic, haunting quality heightened by the cinematography of Charles Lang and the music of Victor Young.

4.) Dead of Night (1945):
Just after WWII, four directors (Alberto Cavalcanti, Charles Crichton, Basil Dearden and Robert Hamer) helped to recreate that episodic, irrational yet familiar world of dreams and nightmares that each of us lives in for part of each day by focusing on an architect (Mervyn Johns) who awakens one morning and drives to a house he’s never visited. Strangely, he knows the names of each house guest he meets, even though he’s never met them before. As this state of déjà vu unfolds, a series of different, uncanny stories are told, all of which only make the viewer realize that the supernatural is sometimes closer than everyday bland reality indicates. This film features a particularly brilliant, (and influential) turn by Michael Redgrave (in picture), though all the stories written by John Baines,  Angus MacPhail,  H.G. Wells and E.F. Benson contribute to the power of this haunting omnibus film. Happily, this rarely broadcast movie was on TCM on October 30, 2008 at 8PM EDT and I hope will be seen again.

5.) The Man Who Laughs(1928):
This silent, which is more of a tragedy than a horror film, was one of the last films directed by the talented German Expressionist Paul Leni, who died at age 44, a year after completing this movie. The Man Who Laughs was based on a Victor Hugo story which the producers hoped would have the same success as earlier adaptations of the French writer’s romantic melodramatic works.  It was also one of the first movies–other than Casablanca–in which I saw how powerful and expressive an actor Conrad Veidt could be in his pre-sound movies. As Gwynplaine, Veidt (seen above trying to appease Olga Baclanova‘s lecherous duchess), plays a young man who has a permanent, grotesque rictus carved into his face by a roving band of twisted gypsies, enabling him to “laugh forever at his fool of a father” who refused to kiss the hand of his King. The boy is forced to submit himself to being on display in a traveling theatrical troupe, though his isolation is alleviated somewhat by his rescue of a blind little girl, who grows into Mary Philbin, the love of Gwynplaine’s life. Veidt manages to use his remarkable grey eyes, and his lean, almost scarecrow-like form to convey his character’s plight and his nobility. While this film is beautifully staged under Carl Laemmle‘s extravagant production at Universal, and echoes but doesn’t surpass Lon Chaney’s  The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923) or The Phantom of the Opera (1925) in terms of spectacle, Conrad Veidt‘s central performance is unforgettably touching.

6.) The War of the Worlds (1953):
As an occasionally anxious child of the nuclear age, I am very thankful that I never saw this as a kid. You may think that the H.G. Wells story is overly familiar, thanks in part to Orson Welles and the Mercury Theater of the Air realistic broadcast from the late ’30s. Yet, as an adult encountering the sight of  Gene Barry, (who looks quite believably intellectual in his horn rims) and Ann Robinson, (as a girl scientist “who remembers she’s also a woman” and who wears one of those ’50s ‘dos that could hold up in a hurricane or an alien invasion) struggle to survive in the no man’s land created once these space ships arrive on earth, I completely bought into it. Director Byron Haskin, his screenwriter Barré Lyndon, and the special effects team keep the mayhem on a very human scale, helped enormously by such small touches as casting instantly recognizable character actor Ned Glass among the stampeding humanity, running from those now quaint space ship death rays. Spielberg‘s loud and seamless pyrotechnics and schmaltz in the remake did not move me as much as this movie–until Mr. Barry and Ms. Robinson reappeared near the end in cameos in that 2005 version.

7.) Lady in White (1988):
This is a small scale movie made by Rochester, NY area native Frank LaLoggia that captures much of the idyllic feel of upstate New York state, (a relatively unexplored but beautiful region) from the point of view of impressionable youngster, Lukas Haas. Growing up in fictional Willowpoint Falls in 1962, the talented  Haas plays a lonely son of an Italian American widower (Alex Rocco) whose world changes as he becomes aware of the underlying spiritual side of life as well as the existence of evil in everyday life. Near Halloween, while wearing his costume to school, Haas is locked in a classroom cloak room for the night by some bullies. During the night, an apparition visits him, plaintively asking him for help, an event that sets the film’s story in motion. While long on warmth and largely non-violent action, the small town atmosphere of the film captures the rustling leaves in the Fall, the inarticulateness of youth and the overwhelming sense of dread from a child’s point of view very well. Most of the people I’ve discussed this film with recall it with real fondness.

8.) The Haunting: (1961):
The masterful director Robert Wise‘s brilliantly made adaptation of the fine Shirley Jackson story was one of the most frightening movies of my childhood. Though I found it difficult to care or like Julie Harris‘ unravelling psychic a great deal, that house, presented in black and white, with just a few doors, closeups of ceilings, statues and the building’s outline to indicate the ominous presence of something evil in the marrow of the wood, mortar, plaster and stone structure is still difficult to watch, though I can enjoy Russ Tamblyn‘s wiseacre, Richard Johnson‘s paranormal prof, and Claire Bloom‘s elegant psychic sophisticate more now. But Julie’s character? Still too spooky to watch.

9.) The Last Wave (1977):
Peter Weir, who also directed the haunting Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975), applied his considerable skills to this story of a rather staid young husband, father and lawyer (Richard Chamberlain) who rediscovers his soul after taking on the defense of an aborigine in court.
Rather than a heartwarming tale of man whose conscience leads him to a triumphant fight for justice for native peoples, this is the gradual acknowledgement by a man cut off from his inner life that his increasingly ominous dreams and nightmares are more real than the surrounding doomed reality. Visually powerful, with several scenes–such as the moment it starts to rain mud–that are literally beyond words in their impact. Aboriginal actors David Gulpilil as a young man on trial and Nandjiwarra Amagula as a holy man who leads Chamberlain to self-knowledge are particularly effective in this movie.

10.) The Wolf Man (1941):
“Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.” ~Maria Ouspenskaya to Lon Chaney, Jr.

I like to imagine Curt Siodmak, who wrote this delightful yet powerful claptrap, dropping by at the house of his far more successful brother, director Robert Siodmak, in LA around the time when this movie was released. I hope that Curt, who seems to have had a nice sense of humor and irony, could enjoy, for once, a feeling of having achieved something that his prodigously talented brother never quite managed: the creation of an iconic figure in the Wolf Man aka Larry Talbot (played beautifully by Lon Chaney, Jr.) who would live to this day as a figure of pity and fear. While you could drive several Mack Trucks through the holes in this movie’s plot, (for example, the unlikely genetic link between darling, wee and very British character actor Claude Rains as the Wolf Man’s Dad & the hulking, very American Chaney as Junior), the cast, including Bela Lugosi, Warren William, Evelyn Ankers, and Patric Knowles mills about in the fog and enthusiastically brings this Halloween tale to life.

11.) Ghost Story (1981):
What’s sadder? A youthful lost love or favorite aging actors recalling better days in one of their last appearances on screen?  Fred Astaire, 82, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., 72, Melvyn Douglas, 80, all appeared together on screen for the last time during this movie, while John Houseman, 79, who began to make strides as an actor after a lifetime as a noted producer and writer, would continue to take acting jobs for some time after this film. They all appeared in this adaptation of a Peter Straub novel as aging friends, members of the Chowder Society in a small New England town, who had conspired for decades to conceal an event they had participated in during a youthful party that got out of hand. While I could have lived without the scene when one sees dear Fred and Doug in the altogether in this movie, the palpable frailty of each of the leading actors underlines my protective feeling for these old boys, even though they committed a fairly unforgivable act a half century before. As their spirited nemesis, the wonderful Alice Krige (pictured above), is one more example of Hollywood’s remarkable record of underutilizing one more talented beauty, though her work with director John Irvin is among her better American films. There are a few scenes in this film that gave me a fright, but not in the stomach turning way that many gore fests offer. This movie builds its chills the old-fashioned way, using characters, incidents and the viewer’s abiding affection for the “boys”.

12.) Nosferatu (1922):
I made the mistake of going to see F.W. Murnau‘s classic silent take on Bram Stoker’s Dracula on my own in college and walked back to my room afterward in the dark, alone. Since Max Schreck seemed to be rising rigid-backed from his coffin behind every tree that stirred in the wind, I guess you could say this movie was a success, despite or because of what I might term “pre-modern”–well, okay, old-fashioned bad acting from everyone other than Schreck, who was only on screen for about ten minutes in the 78 minute version I saw.  Yes, I slept with the lights on after seeing this movie. Want to make something out of that?

13.) Shadow of the Vampire (2000):
After seeing Nosferatu (1922), I was amused to discover this imagined insider version of the classic production directed by E. Elias Merhige from a script written by Steven Katz years later. It features the amusingly creepy John Malkovich as the director Murnau and Willem Dafoe as his star. Dafoe evoked some genuine chills and laughs as he plays his character, a seriously strange actor, one Max Schreck, as  the vampire, “Graf Orlok”, in an early Max Reinhardt-influenced Method acting style. This film is partly an enjoyable hamfest, (watching Malkovich and Dafoe together in character is both fun and revelatory), and partly an exploration of creativity. The film also asks a provocative question about the line between reality and fantasy. All the actors have a fine time being obsessive, particularly Dafoe, whose Schreck may or may not believe that he is a vampire. In the case of the underrated Cary Elwes, the often flashy and funny Eddie Izzard, Catherine McCormack as a decadent actress, and Udo Kier, these denizens of a Weimar world that is part imagined and probably partly accurate help to make this movie more effectively chilling than it was funny. I also loved seeing the technological challenges faced by Murnau and his associates in making this movie.

Scene from PITCH BLACK (2000)

13 HORRORS – CUBED (Keelsetter’s List)

1. BAD DATES: Audition, Misery, Final Destination.

A date looking for a future-wife, an unexpected date with a fan, a date with death. All have painful results.

Odishon (aka Audition, 1999) - Bad date night indeed!

2. CRITTERS BIG-TO-SMALL: Jaws, Arachnophobia, Cabin Fever.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I now. What about The Birds? Look, it’s a great film, but I live with two cats and I’m not afraid of birds. Now, sharks, spiders, and germs? Those still keep me out of the water, out of my crawlspace, and washing my hands regularly.

3. CAR PROBLEMS: The Hitcher, Joy Ride, Wrong Turn.

These films are enough to make one want to buy a Hummer – if not for the fact that those gas-guzzling, earth-destroying, street-hogging monsters are even scarier than killer drifters, truckers, or backwood mutants.

4. NEW ENGLAND SMALL TOWNS: Let’s Scare Jessica to Death, The Other, Salem’s Lot.

There’s just something not quite right out here, maybe it’s the locals, or that hidden pitchfork in the haystack, or maybe it’s the vampires. Any way you poke, dice, or slice it, the people around here are clearly a few pickles short of a full barrel (and, for God’s Sake! Don’t look in the barrel!)

5. EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS IN SPACE: Alien, Aliens, Pitch Black.

Even though the first alien was alone, he was scarier to me than a planet full of them. Especially without the military there to help Ripley. But Cameron’s follow-up gave me plenty of creepy-crawly feelings thanks to more face-hugger scenes. And, speaking of creepy crawlies, Pitch Black made me feel like I was handcuffed to a moist mattress full of bedbugs, and I loved that crash-landing scene at the beginning.

Quatermass and the Pit

6. EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS ON EARTH: Quatermass and the Pit, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (’78), John Carpenter’s The Thing.

What these all have in common are: people going nuts. Sure, the original Body Snatchers should be in here too, but something about Donald Sutherland’s scream at the end of the remake genuinely freaked me out more than Kevin McCarthy’s rant as he tries to outrun the pod mob (plus, McCarthy gets to do it again in the remake – so it’s a twofer).

7. DOCTORS WHO NEED TO REVISIT THEIR HIPPOCRATIC OATHS: The Re-Animator, Dead Ringers, The Dentist.

At first I was going to go for sexual horrors and toss in Teeth instead of The Dentist, especially since the former is better than the latter, but even Bill Murray would have thought twice about visiting Brian Yuzna’s guy. (And we get another twofer here with Stuart Gordon helming The Re-Animator and co-writing The Dentist).

8. DEMONIC POSSESSIONS: The Exorcist, Evil Dead II, The Shining.

The first one still fascinates me insofar as it served as a recruitment poster for the church (gotta believe in God if you’re going to believe in the Devil), the second one genuinely creeped me despite serving as a recruitment poster for the Three Stooges, and the third is an obvious masterpiece that’s also a recruitment poster for A.A.

9. BOOGEY MEN: Halloween, Friday the 13^th, Jeepers Creepers.

It doesn’t matter if he wears a Capt. Kirk mask, a hockey-mask, or a hat, he’s death incarnate, and he’s coming to getcha. Freddy Kreuger fits the bill too, but there was something about the first half of Jeepers Creepers that scared me more – probably that creepy old truck he rattled around in (not as scary as a Hummer, but it was still clearly in violation of any emission standards).  

10. SLASHERS: Twitch of the Death Nerve, Last House on the Left, Scream.

The first is artfully done, the second one cashes in on cinema-verite and some art-house cred by being loosely based on Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring. I debated replacing this with Deep Red, but was seduced by another twofer (via Wes Craven) since Scream brings the horror genre full circle by jump-starting the genre with a sleek bit of self-referential business and black humor.

11. SURREAL TRANSMOGRIFICATIONS: Eraserhead, Videodrome, Tetsuo.

These give way to nightmarish visions that bypass the Super-Ego, the Ego, and go straight into the twisted psyche of the Id.

Tetsuo (1989)

12. ZOMBIES: Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead.

Call me old-fashioned, but I still like my zombies slow. It gives them more heft as a metaphor for overpopulation. You think you can outrun the problems, but they have a way of creeping up on you. When I was born the human population on Earth was three billion and something. That number has now more than doubled and is approaching seven billion. (On the plus side, there are now twice as many shopping malls to hide in.)

13. ED GEIN: Psycho, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Silence of the Lambs.

I’m compelled to give this unlucky spot to a true and American original. A bit weird to think that a nutcase in Wisconsin with mommy-issues would give voice to three all-time great horror films (not to mention a slew of others), but his horrifying story is the thing that campfire stories are made of. The thought of a man killing women who resembled his mother, skinning them, and then wearing those skins around a kitchen full of other body parts is still hard to imagine, no matter how many movies have tried.

MEDUSA’S Horror Picks

To get back in touch with your inner child, here are some from my childhood:

The Hypnotic Eye

The Hypnotic Eye – because a woman burns her own face up, under Jacques Bergerac’s influence!  Ouch!!

Frankenstein’s Daughter – Not only do we get monsters in swimsuits, but a horribly deformed real monster in bandages!

Mr. Sardonicus – Because he is scary-looking, mean as can be, and utterly doomed!

House on Haunted Hill – Great skeletons and self-propelled ropes snaking around a lady…

Mr. Sardonicus

The Brain That Wouldn’t Die – Virginia Leith’s head in a pan!  Scary Monster Behind the Door!  Cheap but Effective!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers – Poor Kevin McCarthy and those pods!  Unsettling!

And here are some from later years:

Wrong Turn – Eliza Dushku and company kick backwoods deformed family’s asses…or try to, anyway.

Jeepers Creepers – Scary winged scarecrow come to live…terrorizes kids on dark streets.  Spooky!

Jeepers Creepers

Slither – 2006 – Great alien invasion movie with horrible slimy things and poor Michael Rooker turning into a goopy mess!

The Rapture – not conventional horror, but eerie and completely disturbing about the end of the world, ala the Bible.

Poltergeist

Poltergeist – Kind of flashy but still scary and very real world haunting stuff.

Dawn of the Dead – 2004, with Sarah Polley.  She is brave, the monsters are unrelenting!

The Exorcist -Was intensely involving, horrific, real-life setting, always good combining religion with horror!

The Exorcist

Check back for Part 2 of “The Movie Morlocks Pick Their Favorite Scary Movies” later today!