Was Porkins fit for duty?

Posted by rhsmith on July 29, 2008

After my STAR WARS-related post from a week or so ago I’ve been on a mini-STAR WARS (1977) kick - not actually watchingthe movie , just thinking about it - and it’s got me obsessing about Porkins.

You remember Porkins… Rebel fighter, code name Red-Six, wing man for Red-Three and fallen hero of the successful assault on the hated Empire’s first Death Star (which also resulted in the death of the merciless Imperial Governor Grand Moff Tarkin), an event officially known as The Battle of Yavin.

Yeah, thatPorkins.

Anyway, if you’ve seen STAR WARS surely you’ll remember Porkins’ participation in the battle and his spectacular death in a fireball of glory. And if you don’t, this should refresh your memory…

I’ve seen STAR WARS a couple of times but have replayed this moment in my head dozens more. Who among us has not thought, there but for the grace of The Force go I? Who among us has not secretly feared that we’d be just like Porkins in such a situation, all thumbs and unprepared and instrumental in nothing so much as our own destruction.

And this has me thinking… was Porkins fit for duty? I’d say no! From the evidence at hand, we have a - to put it delicately - rather out-of-shape individual squeezed into the unforgiving bucket seat of an X-wing fighter, unshaven, his helmet not even secured by a regulation chin strap, and dangerously out of touch with his own shortcomings as a pilot. And it doesn’t end well, does it?

This is not a mark against Porkins, of course, whose loyalty to the Rebellion is beyond reproach. He served with honor. He could have ejected and he didn’t, preferring to “hold it,” selflessly giving his life for the cause. But did he have to? Couldn’t the Rebellion have placed him better, put him to work in a less demanding environment, maybe even something managerial? Was the front line of a rebel attack the best use of his talents?

Well, it’s all academic, of course, because Porkins is gone now. His memory lives on, though, particularly on the Internet, where details of his backstory have been fleshed out by STAR WARS fans and alternative takes on the reasons for his unnecessary death are the stuff of wild speculation…

Respectful? No. Flattering? Not by half. And yet, if nothing else, these theories, parodies and jibes say, declaratively and definitively to the known Universe… Porkins Lives.

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4 Responses Was Porkins fit for duty?

Posted By Ken Loar : July 29, 2008 4:45 pm

You seem to have put a lot of thought into the condition of Porkins as an X-wing fighter pilot. I’m thinking maybe he was part on the final kamikaze wave that was being thrown against the Death Star. Not so much a weapon as a projectile.
You do seem to give some credit to the fact that he did not eject. Considering the environment where the X-Wing was made to fight in, we have to really wonder if it was made with an ejection seat, at all. After all they do not appear to wear much more than a flight suit and the cabin seems no different from your basic fighter jet. Explosion or exjection, in deep space, are the survival rates any better for one than the other.

Posted By keelsetter : July 29, 2008 11:15 pm

LOL!

I was oblivious (as usual) when I saw that last youtube screen-shot for Porkins. Huh? Was he really imbibing from a straw-enabled beverage in the film? Had I played that clip while drinking (say, milk) it most certainly would have come out my nose. Mainly because I, too, empathize with all the red-shirts out there. In the sci-fi universe I always knew (and still know) that I would have been the first to get vaporized in the first act. That’s just the way it goes sometimes…

Posted By Robert : July 30, 2008 4:56 pm

I suspect Porkins may have been a fill-in for another pilot who was sick that day. Perhaps had some bad food at the cantina, a fender bender on the way to work, or just a case of suicide mission jitters. Who knows? They needed a body to fly the bird, and Porkins - whatever training shortcomings he may have had (and I suspect he also probably had food stains on his uniform) at least said “Sure, let’s do it!” and got his fighter airborne.

Besides those limits of pilots ejecting from a damaged ship into space, where was Porkins (or anyone for that matter) supposed to go? Land on the Death Star and wait for a friendly pick-up? Bit of a flaw in that plan, too.

Posted By top movie reviews : August 30, 2008 7:16 pm

haha the title of this entry made me laugh. seams he may have only been fit for a pork pie haha.

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