I’m talkin’ bout the lesser known, ne’er-do-well mini-Kongs, missing links and primate castoffs that have given us some memorable moments in cinematic time.         

1. KILLER APE (1953)
This actually scared me when I was seven. The title creature isn’t even a real ape in this tacky Jungle Jim adventure starring Johnny Weismuller. He’s a man/ape hybrid created by some mad scientists but looks more like a caveman and dig those crazy boots in the poster at the top! The actor under that unusually bad makeup job is Max Palmer (above), an eight foot tall professional wrestler who also played a mutant in INVADERS FROM MARS. (photo is from Side Show World web site, see source links at bottom)

2. LINK (1986)
There’s something unusually creepy about a cigar-smoking, suit-wearing orangutan valet and he’s the title star of this uneven suspense thriller set in an isolated mansion on the English coast. He’s smarter than he looks and kills off his master, research scientist Dr. Philip (Terence Stamp), before the arrival of Philip’s student guest, Jane Chase (Elisabeth Shue). Soon Jane is trapped in the house with Link who incites the other laboratory primates to revolt. The scene that really stands out occurs early in the film when Link runs a bath for Jane and then stays to stare at her while she begins to undress. She stops of course when she realizes he won’t leave the bathroom and finally persuades him to leave her in privacy. But there is clearly a lascivious look on Link’s face as Jane strips down and for a brief moment you expect the film to veer off into unabashed beastiality.

3. MONKEY SHINES (1988)
Capuchin monkeys are cute, right? And they can be trained to be excellent caretakers of quadriplegics as observed in George Romero’s thriller. Allan (Jason Beghe) is the unfortunate victim of a jogging accident (he’s hit by a truck) who winds up helpless in a wheelchair until he is given a capuchin monkey named Ella to help take care of him. Ella, who has been given injections of human brain tissue to make her even smarter, becomes devoted to Allan and even seems capable of reading his thoughts. At first Ella’s attentiveness to her patient is sort of sweet – she likes to play Peggy Lee tunes for Allan, it becomes “their” music – but as she grows more and more possessive of him, the darker animal side emerges. MONKEY SHINES goes off the rails long before the ending but it’s hard to forget the scene where Allan, finally realizing that Ella is homicidal (she’s responsible for the death of his fiancee and friend), is being cuddled by the monkey as Peggy Lee sings “That’s All.” He’s as helpless as Samantha Eggar at the mercy of Terence Stamp in THE COLLECTOR and Romero’s movie sometimes captures that same claustrophobic horror. Plus little Ella can look pretty fierce in close-up rage mode.  

 4. SHAKMA (1990)
The star of this low-budget thriller is a rabid killer baboon and the fellow’s got some nasty teeth on him. The poster for the film lists a credit for “Roddy McDowell as Dr. Sorenson” so you know that really means “special guest victim.” The premise for the movie isn’t bad: a group of college students and their professor playing a Dungeons and Dragons-type game in the science building after hours are stalked by a drug-crazed baboon. Unfortunately, most of the film is plodding and unsuspenseful but Shakma is a pretty frightening thing to behold when fully aroused. In fact, you can actually glimpse his proud thingamyjig in the scene where he freaks out and trashes a laboratory.

5. SANDS OF THE KALAHARI (1965)
Baboons are again the threat in this survivalist drama which bears comparisons with THE FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX which was released the same year. A flight to Johannesburg crashes in the desert and as the survivors wait for rescuers, one of their group begins to assert himself as the alpha male, his aggressive behavior beginning to mirror the hungry baboons who pose a constant threat to the unhappy campers. In time, Brian (played by Stuart Whitman) reverts to his true animal nature and challenges the lead baboon to a fight to the death. The film’s unexpected climax will either impress you or leave you laughing at the overstated absurdity of it.     

SOURCES

http://media.photobucket.com/image/ape/filmfreakz/KillerApe.jpg?o=7

Image from filmfreakz

www.sideshowworld.com/blowoff-MP-Giant.html

Side Show World

http://polyesterla.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

Rapt in Plastic